You CAN do it...baby steps is the key to success.

I have been seeing so many posts on social media lately about how people have gained so much weight and are sick of themselves. They post that they have 25lbs, 50lbs, or like me even 100lbs to lose and are stuck on the big numbers looming over them. It is so scary when you look at the whole picture, and it can be darn right discouraging. "I'll never lose all that weight!" And, if you look at it that way, you are right! You won't lose it because you are setting yourself up for failure! I have been down that road! I have done any number of diets and lose weight quick products. The thing is they really don't work. The best thing to do and remember is BABY STEPS!

 Baby steps has been the only way I could face what I am doing to get myself healthy. I don't think of it as a diet. I certainly don't think of it as a way to make myself look good for my man or fit into smaller clothes, or feel better about myself as a human being. If you don't love yourself at 200lbs, you are not gonna love yourself any more at 120. You will just find a different thing about yourself to hate on. LOVE YOU FOR YOU! Don't let anyone tell you that you are not beautiful or sexy or whatever you need to hear. The only person you need to impress is yourself.

 Ok.... so back to the baby steps thing. I am going to say this again...Do not look at the big picture and get discouraged. Set a small realistic goal and meet it. I use 5 pounds as a goal. It is big enough to make an impact on the scale but not so big that I can't do it. And every time you hit a goal celebrate it big time! If you have someone that knows you are getting healthy, tell them you hit your goal! Write it down on the calendar, or treat yourself to a non food item! Whatever it takes to make you feel like a winner ( and you are) do it.

 Don't beat yourself up either! This is a big one to learn. We all screw up, no one is perfect. So you wanted some of that halloween candy that is all around you. Have a little and move on. You are not a failure because a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup went down your throat. I eat Chinese food once a month, I have sugar free ice cream probably 3 times a week and I have still lost weight. Now, don't go off the deep end and sabotage yourself if you can help it, but even if you go on a week's eating binge and gain a couple its OK. Just get back on the healthy road and continue. Again the only person you will hurt with these negative thoughts is yourself. Learn to forgive yourself and love yourself. 

 Learn to log all your food so you can see what is healthy for you and what isn't. This is extremely important. You need to journal it all and you need to weigh the portions if possible. A kitchen scale has been my new best friend. You may think you are eating a small portion of something, or one serving and when you weigh it out, it is more. Also sub out not so healthy foods for better ones when you can. I have learned to love Oikos Triple Zero Greek Yogurt. Where I used to down 2 Hot Pockets and a couple of bags of chips, I now eat a carton of greek yogurt and a cut up apple for lunch. Instead of a huge tuna sandwich with tons of mayo on a roll, I eat a scoop of tuna with little or no mayo mixed into a salad for lunch or dinner. You can do it, lose weight and not starve yourself.

 You will figure out what works for you as you go along. I was not a water drinker and I still don't like plain water. But I found I could take 2 ounces of Arizona Zero Green Tea and 20 ounces of water and drink it. I now drink 3 or 4 bottles of a water tea blend every day and have given up my Diet Dr. Pepper. I have also given up a lot of beef. Not because of any real health reason, but because of the cost. I love chicken and it is healthier for me anyway so I eat chicken probably 3 to 4 days a week. I also eat lean pork again because it is cheaper than beef. My salads used to be romaine, shredded carrots, and cherry tomatoes. Good but very boring to eat. Now they have broccoli, cauliflower, cucumber, red bell pepper, onion, and the romaine lettuce and shredded carrots. By changing it up the flavors are different and I am getting more fiber and vitamins than I was getting before.

 Lastly get out and move! I have started a new job in the last month in retail so I am now on my feet 6 to 8 hours a day 4 days a week. All I am doing is standing and walking around the store, but it has upped my weight loss. I have lost an average of 2 lbs a week since I started. Now I am not saying walk for 6 to 8 hours, that is crazy but do something a few times a week. Even just dancing around the house is moving and will help boost your metabolism and help tone you up. Do something you like to do and can be consistent at. It will be hard at first and maybe you can't do more than 5 minutes. That is OK! Don't beat yourself up or feel like a failure. It is more than you were doing and you will build up. Again....baby steps.

 Ok, that is it for today. Your mission is to set small goals, log your food, get up and move a little, take baby steps in everything and LOVE YOU FOR YOU! Btw as of today I am down 39.7 lbs. I am at 235.7 and my next goal is 230! May treat myself to some smaller pants at that point. I will let you know! xoxoxoxoxox to you all. 

Time for an update on my progress

It has been about 2 months since I posted. I am sure most of you have forgotten me or figured I gave up. NOPE I just haven't had much to report. I went to the doctor in July as I think I already blogged and I was at 251lbs. In the last 2 months I managed to lose another 10 pounds and get to 241. Actually, I did that in the first 6 weeks but was really struggling the last two weeks to get below 240 which was another small goal of mine.

Remember, I try and set a yearly goal of 50lbs and then break it down into two 6 month goals of 25lbs each. Then I break those 25lb goals into smaller goals of 5lbs at a time. 5 lbs is totally doable in my mind and it feels good to celebrate each small goal I meet. I really try not to focus on the big picture because then it sometimes feels discouraging. But anyway, I was struggling to get to the 240 mark and was really getting pissed off because I would almost hit it, then go up a pound or 8 oz then back down. I felt like my body was teasing me. I tried cutting back on my food, and that didn't work plus I was feeling deprived when I did that. It was just a very frustrating 2 weeks.

So, out of the blue I got a phone call about a job that I had applied for two months before. I hadn't heard back so I figured that I was too old and they didn't want me. It was a part time cashier job at our local CVS Pharmacy at minimum wage pay. I have been out of work for 2 years and have been relentless in my pursuit of employment. So, they called me in for an interview and I got the job! Last week I had my new colleague orientation, and I had my first 4 hour shift on Wednesday. It is a very busy job and I am entirely on my feet for 4 to 6 hours depending on my shift. So I jumped on the scale today after a week of work. Lo and behold, it FINALLY DROPPED! I hit the 238.6 mark this morning! Not only did I hit the 240 mark but I went below it. I lost 3 pounds in a week!

So yeah I am pretty stoked this morning. My new small goal now is 235lbs and I am getting closer to my second 25lb goal for the year. I have 14lbs to go to hit my 50lbs by my birthday in January and 3.5 months to do it. I am certain I am going to hit it and might even hit it earlier than that. Maybe my Christmas present to me will be new smaller clothes. We will have to see what happens but it feels like good things are happening to me on many different fronts. New job and a new me for the foreseeable future.

The moral of the story my friends is do not give up your fight. If something isn't working and you are stuck then try something new. Change up your exercise routine, go for a hike, drink more water, dance in the rain or whatever else you can try. If you are watching your food intake, drinking water and exercising you are taking care of you. The rest will follow, but sometimes things just slow down. Eventually it will catch up with you and start moving again.

Rottie

Trying to give up refined carbs on my journey

This post includes a review of oatmeal that I received for free in exchange for an honest review. All opinions of this oatmeal are my own. 

I have been reading a great book on how my metabolism works and how to get it to optimal performance. It has lots of information about food intolerances and how the thyroid works. Some of the information I have read before, and other bits were brand new. One of the chapters I have read was about cutting out refined carbohydrates. I have heard this before and in fact while on the South Beach Diet, I did in fact cut down not just on refined carbs but ALL carbs. It is a difficult thing to do as I am a bonafide carboholic. I love my breads, pastas, rice, potatoes, corn, and most other things loaded in carbs.

I have decided now to try and I do stress TRY to cut out the unnecessary carbs from my diet. I am going to continue to eat fruit, which we all know contains natural sugars and carbohydrates, because it contains needed fiber and nutrients. I am going to cut the starchy stuff down so less potatoes, more brown rice and bye bye corn on the cob. I am also going to try and have more whole grains in my diet by eating whole grain breads and cereals. I have found a wonderful whole grain hot oatmeal called Umpqua Kick Start and it is really delicious. The first ingredient is whole rolled groats and yes that it GROATS, not oats misspelled. I looked up groats on Wikipedia because I had never heard of it. The definition is as follows, "Groats are whole grains that include the cereal germ and fiber-rich bran portion of the grain as well as the endosperm (which is the usual product of milling)." So those little rolled groats are incredibly good for your body.

I had my first bowl today and I can not stop talking about it. It was so tasty and full of cranberries, blueberries, almonds and sunflower seeds. The different textures combined with the groats really worked in my mouth. It also has a nice cinnamon flavor to it that is not too sweet. This is a non GMO product so I know that it is one of the good ones. I have a video review that I did on YouTube which you will see in a few minutes. Look at  how good it looks even before I add the water. It is really easy to fix too which is nice for those on the go. You can use the microwave but the preferred way and the way I prepared it is just as easy. Just add hot water into the cup just covering the oats, cover and let it steep for 3 minutes. Then just open the cover and enjoy. You will really like the way they taste. You can find them on their website at www.umpquaoats.com  or on Amazon at http://umpqua-oats.myshopify.com/products/kick-start  you will not regret trying this oatmeal. It is that good.

Leg 2 of my journey begins today

So, I went to the doctor today as planned. This was the 6th month of my losing weight journey and I was both excited and nervous. I wanted to show her that I am taking this very seriously, but I was nervous because I wasn't sure if my home scale was in synch with the doctor's scale. When I walked into that office on January 27th 2015 I tipped the scale at 274.5 lbs. That was my wake up call and as you recall the beginning of this trek to become fitter.

Today I walked in and when I got on the scale it read 251.5 lbs. Not the total 25lbs I had hoped for, but a solid  23 lbs down which was great. I have been bouncing between 248 and 253 the last 3 weeks and I am fully confidant that I will hit the 25lb mark or more by my birthday next January. I feel good that I am losing it even if it is in small steps. I am healthier in the way I eat, the way I have tried to exercise, and the way I have upped my water intake. There are some things that I have back slid on since the operation in May and I need to get back on track.

I have to cut the ice cream down again. I have gotten into a habit of eating a bowl of low fat sugar free ice cream every night. I have allowed myself this because I have fooled myself into thinking that it isn't that bad. No, it isn't "that bad" it is 100 calories for a half cup of ice cream and I eat a cup so its 200 calories. But it is 200 calories of something I don't really need. I can have a cup of sugar free jello and that is only 10 calories. Better yet, I can eat a tangerine (35 calories) full of fiber or a cup of non fat yogurt, or not eat anything at all. It isn't that I am hungry, it is that everyone else in the house is indulging and I want to also. So I know I need to get that in check so I can continue to lose.

The other thing is I need to get more active. Getting off the computer and sitting on the deck with my music is not being active. I have been using the excuse that it is too hot to exercise but that has to change. I just need to work out early in the morning or later in the evening when it is cooler and stop being lazy. Those two things are my new goals to accomplish. Stop with the ice cream and up the exercise and change up the time I work out. Once I get those two things under control, I think I will start losing weight again.

Just a little catch up post

Yeah right lol knowing how I love to ramble, this little post will most likely be a page or more by the time I am done. So....... On May 18th I went into the hospital ER. I had had stomach pains since the previous Friday and decided that they were not gas or food related and I needed to see a doctor. They weren't screaming in distress pains but they were enough to wake me up out of a sound sleep. They started in the center of my stomach near my naval and gradually moved over to the right side of my tummy. My roommate thought perhaps appendicitis as her son had had it, but no one was sure. By Sunday evening, I was starting to run a low grade temperature and was really feeling ill. So off to the emergency room we went
              .                                                                                                                                                 So after a CT scan and blood work and a pee test, they determined that yes, my appendix was not in good shape. It had not ruptured yet but it definitely needed to come out. They admitted me into the hospital at 11pm on Sunday evening with the surgery scheduled at 7am the following Monday morning. Needless to say, I did not get much sleep during the in between hours. Surgery is scary. You are literally putting your life into the hands of strangers and hoping everything turns out alright. The fact that both the surgeon and the anesthesiologist have to go over every possible bad scenario doesn't help your nerves either. By the time they were both done telling me what could go wrong even though the odds were minimal, I was convinced I was a goner on the table. I am not a super religious person, but as I laid in the recovery room waiting to go into the OR I looked up at the ceiling and I whispered " Ok God, I am in Your hands now, please take care of me."
      

                                                                                                                                                                                                                         I got wheeled in and the room is so bright. I took a peek around and I see all these people in gowns and caps like on tv. Everyone is busy getting stuff ready and I see tall shelves encased in glass almost like refrigerator shelves full of god knows what and machines beeping and whirring. Someone came up behind me and I heard a voice telling me that they were going to put something in my IV to relax me. After that, I am told to transfer from the hospital bed to the operating table by rolling and scooting over. I remember the something to relax me kicking my ass at that point and yelling "Whoooooooooooo omg I can feel that now" and everyone in the room cracking up. Then lying on the table and a green rubber mask thing covering my nose and mouth. I remember the dark green color and I remember the smell of rubber. That is the last thing I remember.
                                                                                                                                                                   I heard my name being called and I remember really struggling to get my eyes open. I was back in the recovery room and Ralph was sitting next to me reading a book. It was hard to stay awake and I know nurses were checking my blood pressure and my temp and I had my IV checked several times but mostly I was in a fog and sleeping. They finally put me in a wheel chair and took me back to my hospital bed. I don't remember much of that except that when I got up to get into the bed I started retching. I didn't throw up because there was nothing in my system to throw up, but I couldn't stop the dry heaves for about 10 or 15 minutes. They gave me a nausea pill and it stopped.   
                                                                                                                                                                The rest of that day ( it was 10 am when I was back in my room) I pretty much slept, and watched tv when I was awake. Lunch came and even though I hadn't eaten in almost 24 hours, I didn't touch it. Dinner came and I think I took 4 sips of some awful cream of broccoli soup, and drank a 7 up that Ralph brought me and that was it. Next day breakfast I received a piece and a half of french toast and I couldn't eat more than one half. So, you get the picture, I wasn't eating anything really the first 2 days. They came in on the 2nd day and told me my white blood count went up instead of down and I had to stay in the hospital another day. I was not a happy camper but I really had no choice in the matter. Finally Wednesday I was released and got to come home.
                                                                                                                                                                To say I was happy is an understatement. I had never missed my home so much as I did those three days in the hospital. I was given a bottle of vicodin, and two strong antibiotics which kicked my butt for the week I had to take them, but I was in my own house! Nothing made me happier than being in my own home.
                                                                                                                                                                  Thursday I stepped on the scale thinking that because I hadn't eaten for those 3 days I would have dropped more weight. NOPE! Actually I had gained 8 lbs which really upset me. I mean I didn't eat hardly a bite and I gain weight? How was that possible? Then I stopped to think about it. I had surgery so the muscles were cut, and swollen which meant I had fluid in me and fluid means weight. After another 3 days I got up on the scale again, and this time not only was the 8 that I had gained gone, another 2 were also missing! So, I was up to almost a 28lb loss since the start in January so I was feeling a little proud of myself for that but it was short lived. Because I hadn't eaten in the beginning, I let myself indulge a bit more than I should have. I wasn't measuring my servings, and I was eating more junk than I should. Two weeks after being home, I got on the scale again and saw I had gained back the extra 2 that I lost after surgery, so I was back to square one so to speak.
                                                                                                                                                                    I am now back on track, and being more cautious as to what I am eating and what portion size. I got on the scale today and I have now lost back one of the pounds with one more to go. I have a wedding coming up this weekend which means eating out, and having a few drinks at the reception. It also means I can go swimming in the lake and do more walking around so I'm hoping to keep things in check. I have to decide whether to give my self permission to just eat and drink what I want all weekend, or try and keep things in proportion and stick to the plan. Knowing me, Im probably going to do a little of both. I will let you know. Rottie

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Today, I hit my goal! 25lbs down and counting.

I don't even know if I can describe what I am feeling right at this moment! Pride? Oh hell yeah that is in there! Satisfaction? You betcha! Delight? Joy? Yup those too! It just feels so great to set out with a goal and accomplish it! Yes, I still have a long way to go on losing weight and yes, there will be setbacks here and there. Hitting this goal though proves to me that I have the determination not to give up and the drive to keep going! Now, I will be honest and say that being in the hospital for 4 days and being on antibiotics for another 5 most likely contributed to me hitting my goal today, but I was only out 1.5 lbs before my appendix decided to move out anyway. The thing is I have to ride this wave of giddiness and keep plugging forward. If I lost 25lbs by May 25th, a full month ahead of schedule, can I do 50 before Christmas? That remains to be seen but I'm sure as hell going to try.

Little Bit of This and a Little Bit of That

Yeah I know, I haven't written in close to a month and I'm sure anyone that has been following my blog figures I had given up. WRONG!!! Actually this is probably one of the few times I have tried to lose weight on my own and not given up. I'm still fighting the good fight and I am slowly but surely winning. It is almost second nature to me now, this watching what I eat, and I am not struggling like I was in the beginning because a lot of the cravings just aren't there anymore.

Now, that's not to say I don't indulge occasionally people, I am human, but the nagging cravings and feelings of being deprived just are not there this time. I even splurged and had a small bowl of Dryers Drumstick Ice Cream the other night. Yes it was about a quarter of the size I would have eaten in the old days but it was so good and I didn't miss not having the larger portion. I was a little nervous that having the ice cream would make me crave it the next evening, but it didn't. I did have a plan in mind though, that if I found myself wanting more ice cream I would just sub with a low fat yogurt. Luckily I didn't need to do the sub thing because I was full from dinner and I got absorbed in binge watching America's Next Top Model on Hulu Plus so the issue didn't even come up.

I did have a victory yesterday that I have to brag about to you all. Hubby and I decided to take all our garbage to the dump as the garbage room was getting overrun and stinky. I didn't want to wear my holey sweats or my short ( I am still way to self conscious for that yet), but I didn't want to wear my good velour pants either. I have like 5 or 6 pairs of jeans in my bottom drawer from my thinner days that I refused to toss away and spur of the moment I decided to try a pair on. I was prepared for disappointment as most of these are size 18W and right now my other pants are a 22W but I said what the hell, lets see where I am. I pulled on the first pair, and they went right up. I figured ok I got them on but zipping them is going to be impossible because there is no way they will fit. Nope! Victory was mine because I pulled them up and I zipped them so easily! They weren't tight, and they passed the squat test so I knew I wasn't going to bust the butt or thigh seam out if I tried to bend over and pick anything up. I have to tell you I felt pretty good yesterday wearing those capri jeans to the dump lol. Yes, I know a size 18W to a lot of you is still huge and I agree...BUT I haven't gotten my behind into a size 18W for over 2 years so this means that I am doing something right. What a boost to my self esteem to get back into those pants.

Now I did try the other pants on after that and found 1 other pair does fit  but the third I can get on, except zipping is impossible. That is alright though, I know I have a long way to go and those jeans will eventually fit. Then I will be blogging about how all my clothes are too big and I have to go shopping for smaller ones! Boy what a great feeling that will be. I do have some regular size 18's not women's size in my closet so those will be next on my radar after I get these last black jeans to zip. It is all going to happen, I just have to take it one day at a time.

The other thing I want to touch on yet again, is portions and the importance of weighing your food. I had a plastic scale in my kitchen. It was a freebie reward for promoting a site and it came in handy because it was better than nothing. The bad thing was it wasn't accurate and I was logging a lot of my food by guessing. It only weighed in grams and it started at 100g so I was constantly trying to convert the grams to ounces by math. I am a product reviewer on Amazon and I was given the opportunity to review a digital kitchen scale. That thing is so awesome and it has changed the way I measure my food and control my portions. It measures pounds, pounds and ounces, ounces, grams, milliliters,and cups in water and milk ( I had no idea they weigh differently). I can put the container on the scale and hit a button. It deducts the weight of the container so that when I put the food into it, it weighs only the food. My weighing has been cut in half by this digital scale because I no longer have to do the math. I have a YouTube video of the scale if you are interested in how it works for getting one for yourself. It isn't expensive and it's almost a must have if you are going to try and lose weight. Kitchen Scale Review . The Weigh Smart Digital Scale is available on Amazon for about $25.00 and I really suggest you pick a digital scale up.

The next thing I am getting in a day or two is a digital bathroom scale. I have been using an old UPS scale that I got from my work a few years ago. It works but again, it is not digital and I have found out, it is not reliable. I weighed myself and from one week to the next I gained 5lbs according to that scale which I know is false. My roommate has a weight watcher's digital scale but that one is old and also unreliable. I got off and on it three times and I got three totally different weights. Truth is I don't know how much weight I have lost and I won't know the truth until I get to the doctor's in June but with my new scale I will hopefully have a way of tracking more accurately in my bathroom until I get back to the doctors. We shall see, but in the meantime depending on which scale you count I have lost either 13 lbs so far or 18. Sure, I want to go with the 18lbs and they way I can get into old pants, I believe that may be the more true weight loss. Either way I am feeling more confident in myself, more energetic, and happier with the way I am going on this.

Rottie

Gettin On the Resistance Band Bandwagon

474187c054aca7b7f332cbf1c0d91dde50625c1bf4a8744cb1 Today's post is about resistance bands, mainly because I'm going to be reviewing a set on my other blog Rotties Reviews (www.rottiesreviews.blogspot.com). Sorry for the shameless plug snuck in there but you gotta try.

So, Im getting these bands from Urban Fit, and to be honest, I had to google what they are for and what they do. I have learned that they basically are used for strength training and to tone your muscles. I have been doing all cardio since I started this journey to get fit and decided to give these a whirl just to mix it up a little bit. I have heard before that its good to change it up between cardio and strength training and after googling resistance band exercises I feel like these may be something I can do. I found a site which I am going to list here in a second, that has 6 different exercises using resistance bands. When  you google "resistance band exercises" there are a plethora of YouTube videos and the like. All of them very fit looking muscular people doing  these incredible exercises. I'm looking at these people that look like they go to the gym 5 to 7 days a week and thinking "Who are you kidding?" Seriously they need to show some of us fat people doing beginner exercises so we can be motivated. Hmmmm maybe I see a YouTube video star in myself in the future lol.

I found this one site http://www.realsimple.com/health/fitness-exercise/workouts/resistance-band-exercises that does look like something I can attempt. Of course I'm going to hide in my bedroom with the door shut the few times first so no one can see me. I look like a fool enough on my own when I trip over my two feet. I can just imagine letting go of one of these bands and having it snap back and hit me in the butt or worse. I'll injure my pride in private thank you very much. When I get the bands and test them out, I'll give you all my review and let you know if its something you should try. I was thinking of getting a couple of 5lb dumbells but I think this might be easier and definitely more portable. I can pack these in my suitcase when I go on trips like that big wedding I'm heading to in June.

Anyway thats my informative post for today, but I will be blogging again tomorrow as it is weigh in day. Im excited to see how I'm doing as I started supplements and a (ICK) colon clease. Boyyyyy does THAT work hahahaha. I will leave you with that  happy little visual.

Xoxoxoxoxo
Rottie

Haven't posted in over a week

I'm sure not many are really following this anyway but I felt like I should at least do a check in for those that actually are. I'm here, I'm still doing this, I have not given up. Just wanted to put that out there in case anyone thought that is why I have been MIA.

Truth is, there isn't that much to report so I've been quiet. The last post I made was about not trusting the old scale I had been, and I have to say that I was absolutely correct. Next time I got on it, it weighed me back at the weight before the loss so I had to take back those four pounds I had thought and hoped I lost. So I now need to save up some cash to get a nice digital one that doesn't lie and give me false hope lol.

But,... In the 11 days that I have been absent from the blogging scene, I have lost those four pounds! I'm certain of it. The scale has been consistent the last four weigh ins and has not fluctuated. I take that as I am back to a nine pound loss. The big thing though is I realize how poorly I was eating before. Before I started this journey, I thought I was eating ok. Not the best because I knew I had been steadily gaining weight but not bad either. Now though, I know I was eating A LOT of fat, most likely saturated fat, salt, and just junk. More than once a week my lunch would be not one but two hot pockets, and two bags of chips! Or 2 packages of Top Ramen with cheese or egg and meat in it. Breakfast was the normal omelet I eat now on every other day but those other days the cereal I had was not one serving, it was closer to three. So I probably was consuming upwards of 2500 calories a day.

Measuring and the MyFitnessPal app have been my lifesavers. I realize now how much I over indulged and what exactly a serving is. I read labels, I measure and I make calculated decisions as to what I am going to eat that day. Also I realize now how important even a small amount of exercise is. Walking at a leisurely pace for half an hour burns about 150 calories. That's a cup of low fat yogurt and a piece of fruit or a bowl of cereal. More exercise burns more calories so if I want to over indulge occasionally I know I need to step the exercise game up a little to compensate. If I don't, I know I am going to go over my caloric goal for the day and sometimes I just do that. I try not to make it a habit of over indulging but when I do, I don't guilt myself anymore like I used to.

I feel better about myself. I feel like I am moving in a positive direction even if the scale doesn't drop dramatically or even at all. I have started making healthy decisions and to be honest, its not that hard. I don't feel deprived or like I'm missing something. I have upped my fruits and veggies, I have eliminated the chips and the hot pockets and the junk food. I have also cut my sherbet by two thirds. I had half a cup the other day and it was just way too sweet for me. I love my sherbet I always have but I can't eat the sweet anymore. A cup of Yoplait light in the evening is much more satisfying these days. Who would think I would ever think that way?

So, in conclusion, its not depriving yourself or making huge drops on the scale. Its changing old habits and developing new healthier ones. Once you can do that, the weight will fall off on its own. Don't get discouraged and don't beat yourself up because you gave in and ate that piece of chocolate or that slice of pie. Celebrate the little victories each day and keep moving forward. We will all get there in time.

Rottie

Not holding my breath but I think the dam broke finally

Im flying pretty high this morning. I actually jumped off and on the scale 4 times to make sure the reading didn't change! Looks like I have dropped an amazing 5 lbs since the last weigh in. I still am not sure if the scale is right but I figure next weigh in, if its the same or lower then yes it is and I really finally broke that plateau.

 Pretty amazing feeling because that means a total of 9 pounds since I started this on the 28th of January. I mean in the sense of long term its nothing, I have such a long way to go but I'm not measuring the long run. I'm taking this one day at a time so in that respect this is pretty damn good. If I keep this up, I will be able to get back into those jeans that are stuffed in the bottom of my drawer and then maybe even the ones in the closet that I haven't even looked at in 2 years. Today's weigh in has given me hope again and given me back my drive and motivation to stick with it.

 Next weigh in is on Saturday so we will know for sure then. I have to fight the urge not to jump on the scale every time I go into the bathroom between now and Sunday but I can do it. Thinking of trying some of those protein drinks and appetite supression pills to help but I'm kind of on the fence. I want to do this right, by eating right and exercising but that other stuff is awfully tempting. I guess I will play it by ear and take it one step at a time. 

Rottie

SO FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW!!!

The picture above kinda says it all doesn't it?

It pretty much sums up how I am feeling right about now. I got on the scale yesterday morning and AGAIN no change. I don't understand it. I have been exercising, drinking my water, watching my food intake and not one pound shed in over a week. I know I know, baby steps, don't lose sight of the big picture, it will come off yada yada yada. I have been telling myself all those encouraging affirmations this week but its very hard not to just chuck the scale in the garbage and give up. I should be happy that I lost 4 pounds this week and that I am improving my diet. But I'm not happy because I feel like I should have lost at least one more pound this month. Why am I being so hard on myself and not celebrating my success?  I know it didn't take a few months to put all this weight on so why am I obsessed with it just falling off? Grrr so frustrating!

 

If anyone out there that is reading this has any encouragment or been there done that stories, please comment down below and give me a sign that I need to keep pushing on. I mean I'm not giving up, thats stupid but I just feel so angry at myself right now. I'd love to hear from someone.

 

Rottie

Even a little exercise counts!

First off, I need to wish my beautiful grandson Isaiah a 7th birthday! He has been such an important part of my life and one of the reason's I am determined to be healthier and live longer.

Ok, that being said, on to exercise. I have come to see how important some type of daily exercise is when you are attempting to get healthier. It strengthens your muscles, it increases your blood flow, lowers your blood pressure, and really just makes you feel good once you are done. I am no fitness guru and I don't go to the gym or spend an hour  doing aerobics or elliptical or even bike ride. Right now, my exercise routine is fairly simple. I WALK. Yep, thats it! No expensive gym membership where I would die if anyone saw me in leggings. No exercise equipment clogging my spare room or bedroom either. Just my old sneakers and whatever I have handy to throw on.

Best part is I can do it outside, or I can do laps in my bedroom if the weather is bad and they both count. I don't even have to do the full half hour in one session if I don't want to. With my back bothering me I am finding that I have to break it into two or three sessions but I am getting it done. Today so far I have walked at a moderate pace for 31 minutes and according to My Fitness Pal I have burned a total of 342 calories. I am pretty happy with that. The main goal is to just get moving. If you can't do half an hour, start with 15 minutes or heck start with 10 minutes if that is all you can do. You can and will build your stamina as you go along. My goals are 1) to work up to an hour a day of walking and then 2) to be able to run and do jumping jacks and sit ups and other things I can't do at the moment. I'm taking it in baby steps though. One day at a time.

Another important thing is water. You need it for hydration and it helps to curb your appetite. I have a 22 ounce plastic glass that I keep near me as much as possible. Each glass of that is almost 3 8 oz glasses of water. I can usually do at least 2 and sometimes 3 glasses which is 44 to 66 ounces of water a day. Bad side of this is I'm running to the john about every 30 minutes but hey, thats exercise too lol.

I'm learning that going over my sodium limit is almost a daily occurrence and that 2300 mg of salt adds up pretty dang fast. I had 2 maple sausage links, 1 scrambled egg and 12 tater tots for breakfast today and I'm already at half my limit. Yeah, I know I need to work on the breakfast thing but my hubby made me the breakfast and he doesn't do it every day. Usually its a bowl of raisin bran, rice crispies, or 2 packets of plain oatmeal. I have to really read labels and look up food before I eat it if I want to stay within my restrictions.

So that is it for today boys and girls :) Get up get moving drink your water and read your labels.

Until next time

Rottie

Tuesday Weigh In, Dun Dun Dunnnnnnn

Nothing to report today, what a surprise!

I figured as much due to the lack of being able to do any type of exercise and the tempting See's candy that I dipped into. I mean I can look at this two ways either DAMMIT I didn't lose anything since the last weigh in, or...YAY I didn't gain anything since the last weigh in. I choose to take the attitude of the latter. I didn't gain and that's a good thing.

I am really frustrated at this back issue. Again today it's stiff, sore, and uncooperative. I need to get back on the exercise train and fast. Part of me is saying to just get up and do it. Walking around for 30 minutes won't burn a ton of calories but it will burn some and work some muscles. Part of me is saying if I do and I screw my back up more, I'm back to square one and off my feet. I don't know, maybe I'll find some happy medium in between the two.

And on the Sees Candy front, I'm really tempted to toss the flipping box in the trash and be done with it!. I tried placing it in the living room near hubby but that was rejected. He is diabetic so he dosen't want the temptress near him either but that dosen't stop him from raiding the box in our room. Maybe I'll just oooooppps drop it on the floor and then I have to throw it away. Other than that candy, I am doing well on my eating and I am pretty proud of myself. Its been about a month now since I went to the doctor and I have really been sticking to the plan. Maybe I really can do it this time around.

Until next time
Rottie

 

Kind of feeling meh

Today is Monday, February 23,2015 and tomorrow I am going to weigh in again. I threw my back so I didn't get my exercise in for Saturday or Sunday. Funny, it used to be such a big deal for me to get off my ass and do anything and now without exercising for two days I kind of feel lost. Besides that, tomorrow is my weigh in day and I'm afraid that it won't show any weight loss. I've been pretty good with my eating but not perfect. Somehow being perfect on this has become important. I feel I need to be perfect in order to succeed at this even though it isn't the point. The point of this is to get healthy and along the way drop pounds and I need to accept that there will be days where I don't eat 100% healthy or I go over my calories of the day. It dosen't make me a bad person, it makes me human. But as easy as that was to type, the reality is I don't usually feel that way. I feel like if I stray I am weak and if I am weak I am a failure. I'm going to have to figure out a way to get over that issue. If any of you have struggled with that and have an answer I'd love to hear it. 

Temptress thy name is Chocolate

  So yeah, one day I ate 4 pieces of the See's chocolate that I got for Valentine's Day. The first time I had eaten any of it since receiving it actually. I had it sealed on my dresser until my husband decided to open it so he could have the scotch mallow inside. I didn't even touch it for days after it was opened but finally gave in to a small craving I had. At the end of the day I hadn't gone over my calories for that day but I still felt like I shouldn't have given in to the urge because I shouldn't have been so weak. This weight loss journey is turning into a bit more than just a need to get healthy and drop pounds. Its becoming a bit of a self exploration of my psyche as well. I am becoming aware of some of the issues I have with food and with myself.

 The issue of being perfect is a real one. I have always needed the approval of others because if others approve me, then I must not be as bad of a person as I believe I am. My validation of my own self worth seems to be reliant of what others think of me. Is that right? No, I shouldn't have to have other's approval or liking of me to have self worth. It's all tied into first my childhood with my parents and later in my marriage to an alcoholic who both mentally and physically abused me. I know I have a lot of issues that I need to tackle and they start with learning to love myself for me and finding out who I really am. I hope as I blog and move along this path of health and well being some of those things will be resolved and I will be a better stronger person.  

Again, thanks for reading and please take care of yourself.

 Rottie

I'm Fat

This is me, today February 21,2015. It's one month into my weight loss journey and yes, I  am FAT. I'm not chunky, or phat, or fluffy or any of the other cute acronyms for being overweight. I've used them all during my life and have said over and over that I am happy being big. The truth? I'm not. I never have been, and I never will be. I don't like me. Now that doesn't necessarily have to do with the weight or the body image. It has to do with a lot of things probably starting back before I was even conscious of it. Beyond the fact that I don't like me, I don't like being unhealthy. I have high blood pressure which I have to correct using pills. I have a hard time getting up off the floor if I have to get down there and do something. I breathe heavy when I walk outside more than a few minutes and I just generally worry about an early death.

I went to the doctor a month ago for a routine blood pressure check. Because I have hypertension I have to check in every 6 months to see how I am doing and make sure the meds are doing their job. I got on the scale and I knew, I mean I KNEW it was going to be bad. I had gone up a size in pants so that was one clue, and during the holidays, I sampled everything. We baked dozen's of cookies, a gingerbread house, a couple of cakes and some very large holiday dinners. So, it wasn't really a surprise that it was up but it was humiliating especially since the nurse that took my weight down was a thin young girl. She wasn't rude or anything and I'm sure this is in my head but I could almost see her clucking her tongue and going "Oh my god what a fatty". So, when my new nurse practitioner came in I told her I was sick of it and was going to start trying to change things. She was very empathetic and since she is a nutritionist she gave me some good pointers and a sense of power over my demons.

So, on January 28th 2015 I started my journey to get healthier. I decided that a pound a week would be a reasonable goal. It dosen't sound like much, especially when I have to lose over 100 lbs, closer to 120 pounds. God I hate typing that out! But a pound at a time will have me down 52 pounds in a year and will take about 2 and a half years to get to my ideal weight. I'm sure some weeks I will lose more than a pound and some weeks I will plateu and not lose anything but the main thing is I'm trying to change my life.

I started on my own, and the first couple of weeks I didn't lose more than a pound. In hindsight it was because A) I gave into some temptations that I shouldn't have B) I wasn't measuring my food servings, and C) I wasn't doing ANY exercise. Giving into temptations is going to happen. If I don't, I'll end up feeling deprived and give up and I do not want that. Measuring portions and getting out and moving, are musts though and they really aren't that difficult if you have the correct tools. I found an app on my tablet, that actually my brother suggested when I first started. Its called My Fitness Pal and its wonderful. I log honestly every day what I eat and what portion sizes. It has a huge database so practically anything you eat can be found, and if not you can input by a bar code scan or simply breaking down the components of the food.
It asks you your weight, height and age and then calculates your daily caloric goal to hit in order to achieve your weight loss. I am a 53 year old woman, I am 5 foot 3 inches tall and I weighed 264lbs when I started. (OUCH that hurt to admit) The app gave me a daily goal of 1700 calories which I think is nuts and it often yells at me because I go below my goal. I try to keep it at around 1200 to 1400 calories. Not only will it keep track of my calories, it will keep track of my exercise if I log it and the feature I love is that it keeps track of my nutrition. I can see how much sodium I have eaten, trans fat, saturated fat, iron, potassium, vitamins, and calcium. Since it does that for me, I can adjust what I eat and make healthier choices.

So today, February  21st I got on the scale and I am now down to 259. Still a big OUCH number but at least its moving in the right direction. Since I started the My Fitness Pal app I have lost 4 lbs. One more pound and its almost 5% of my goal. Thats like buying something and getting a 5% discount and we all love discounts. So, I am happy with my progress so far. Soon hopefully I can get back into those pants that I outgrew and then go down to even smaller sizes. It's not going to help on the loving myself front and maybe later I will touch on that in another blog. I have had so many things happen in my life that have shaped my self image starting from when I was a preteen. That, as I said, is for another blog otherwise I will be here all night. I don't want you dear friend to fall asleep from sheer boredom.

So ends my first blog post. I have put it out there and I own the fact that I am fat but working on it. I think most people won't even read past the first sentence but maybe some will find this helpful.  I'm doing this for me, but I could use all the support I can get. I hope you want to follow along with me. Knowing the way I enjoy writing, I'm sure there will be plenty of posts to read.

Rottie