Been very stagnant lately

I haven't shared in a while so I guess its time to bite the bullet and be honest. Putting it out here makes it real and makes me face facts. I HAVE BEEN BACK SLIDING! I haven't gained anything and I attribute that to the fact that I am working and on my feet moving 8 hours a shift, but my eating habits have become a bit atrocious.

I work at CVS Pharmacy and I am subject to a lot of temptation. There are cookies, and candy, and chips and all sorts of evils. At first I was pretty good at avoiding them and sticking to my plan, but once I achieved that 50 lbs goal, I gave myself a little permission to have a few indulgences. Well to be honest, I have been indulging since January and it is time to stop. My goal of reaching 25lbs by July is not going to happen as I didn't lose anything. Right now, I am at 221.8 lbs. Actually I am shocked that it is as light as it is. I was certain I was going to be around 225 or more. I have stopped eating the high protein yogurts and have been eating crap like Bugels, pretzels, and Pringles...damn you salt cravings!

Today I got on the scale, the first time since March, and decided ENOUGH! No more backsliding and no more indulging on junk. I am getting back to being healthy because I was liking how I felt dang it. I felt like I was achieving something and heading down the road to better health. Lately I have been feeling tired and depressed and I am sure that my bad eating has attributed to some of these feelings. So, I am going forward full steam. Back to weighing myself at least weekly, and getting back to good fats, proteins, and veggies. I hope to have a better report for you soon.

I did it! Year goal accomplished!! Whoot Whoot!

I got on the scale this morning. I haven't gotten on it since January 9th, and at the point I still had those pesky 2 lbs to go. I got through the Holiday Season fairly well this year. I curtailed the sugar cookies which are a huge downfall for me. I maintained my salad and light Greek yogurt regiment and mostly ignored the pumpkin pie, left over stuffing, candy canes, and other holiday demons.

I wasn't an angel by any means. I had a slice of pie with whipped cream. I had maybe 6 sugar cookies total over the seven week span between Thanksgiving and the New Year. Full Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners complete with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, eggnog and the like so I didn't miss out on anything.
The difference was as soon as the dinner was over, that was it. I didn't let a one day indulgence turn into a seven week food fest. I had to learn to balance and the truth of it is, I didn't have the cravings this year.

There is also the fact that I am working again. Now that I have a pedometer ( and I recommend everyone get one), I see that on average I walk 2 to 3 miles a day at work. Now that isn't much really in the huge scheme of things, but it burns about 200 calories. What the pedometer doesn't take into consideration is the lifting, bending, and other exercising I am also getting at work. At first it killed me at the end of a shift. Advil was fast becoming my best friend because it was the only thing to stop the muscle ache. Now, I can work an 8 hour shift and come home fine. I have toned up my muscles and they are not nearly as sore as t hey were in the beginning.

The thing is, I set a goal, and I met that goal. This is the first time in years where I accomplished a weight loss without giving up. I didn't starve myself (that doesn't work), and I found a way to exercise. I have changed so much in the past year both physically and mentally. Best of all I have dropped 3 sizes in clothing which is a great ego booster!

My next goal is to lose another 25 by July 25th and ultimately 50 by my next birthday January 25th 2017! That will mean I lost 100lbs in 2 years and I will finally be out of the 200's. The last time I was below 200 was in 1989 when I got pregnant with my last child. I am excited to be on this second leg of my journey and I invite you all to come along for the ride.

If I have inspired you, I am happy. I can't make anyone join me. You have to get to the point where you really want to do this for you. Make sure you are doing it for all the right reasons and that you WANT to do it. Don't let anyone influence your decision, especially society. Society wants us all to be Victoria Secret model sizes and guess what...ain't happening. Beauty is beauty and it comes in all shapes and sizes. Marilyn Monroe was a bigger gal and who doesn't think she was sexy? To me, true beauty radiates from within yourself. It is confidence in loving who you are and how you present yourself to others. But I am getting off track here...what I was trying to say is don't do it because you think it will make you sexier, do it for health. That was the reason I did it and I can tell you my blood pressure has dropped back to normal, I can walk more than a block without sounding like a tea kettle, and I just feel better. If I can do it, anyone can. Baby steps, one at a time, will lead you down the path faster than you realize it.

So that is it for this time dear readers. I thank you for your encouragement and continued support and please know I could not do it without all of you in my corner.

Rottie

You CAN do it...baby steps is the key to success.

I have been seeing so many posts on social media lately about how people have gained so much weight and are sick of themselves. They post that they have 25lbs, 50lbs, or like me even 100lbs to lose and are stuck on the big numbers looming over them. It is so scary when you look at the whole picture, and it can be darn right discouraging. "I'll never lose all that weight!" And, if you look at it that way, you are right! You won't lose it because you are setting yourself up for failure! I have been down that road! I have done any number of diets and lose weight quick products. The thing is they really don't work. The best thing to do and remember is BABY STEPS!

 Baby steps has been the only way I could face what I am doing to get myself healthy. I don't think of it as a diet. I certainly don't think of it as a way to make myself look good for my man or fit into smaller clothes, or feel better about myself as a human being. If you don't love yourself at 200lbs, you are not gonna love yourself any more at 120. You will just find a different thing about yourself to hate on. LOVE YOU FOR YOU! Don't let anyone tell you that you are not beautiful or sexy or whatever you need to hear. The only person you need to impress is yourself.

 Ok.... so back to the baby steps thing. I am going to say this again...Do not look at the big picture and get discouraged. Set a small realistic goal and meet it. I use 5 pounds as a goal. It is big enough to make an impact on the scale but not so big that I can't do it. And every time you hit a goal celebrate it big time! If you have someone that knows you are getting healthy, tell them you hit your goal! Write it down on the calendar, or treat yourself to a non food item! Whatever it takes to make you feel like a winner ( and you are) do it.

 Don't beat yourself up either! This is a big one to learn. We all screw up, no one is perfect. So you wanted some of that halloween candy that is all around you. Have a little and move on. You are not a failure because a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup went down your throat. I eat Chinese food once a month, I have sugar free ice cream probably 3 times a week and I have still lost weight. Now, don't go off the deep end and sabotage yourself if you can help it, but even if you go on a week's eating binge and gain a couple its OK. Just get back on the healthy road and continue. Again the only person you will hurt with these negative thoughts is yourself. Learn to forgive yourself and love yourself. 

 Learn to log all your food so you can see what is healthy for you and what isn't. This is extremely important. You need to journal it all and you need to weigh the portions if possible. A kitchen scale has been my new best friend. You may think you are eating a small portion of something, or one serving and when you weigh it out, it is more. Also sub out not so healthy foods for better ones when you can. I have learned to love Oikos Triple Zero Greek Yogurt. Where I used to down 2 Hot Pockets and a couple of bags of chips, I now eat a carton of greek yogurt and a cut up apple for lunch. Instead of a huge tuna sandwich with tons of mayo on a roll, I eat a scoop of tuna with little or no mayo mixed into a salad for lunch or dinner. You can do it, lose weight and not starve yourself.

 You will figure out what works for you as you go along. I was not a water drinker and I still don't like plain water. But I found I could take 2 ounces of Arizona Zero Green Tea and 20 ounces of water and drink it. I now drink 3 or 4 bottles of a water tea blend every day and have given up my Diet Dr. Pepper. I have also given up a lot of beef. Not because of any real health reason, but because of the cost. I love chicken and it is healthier for me anyway so I eat chicken probably 3 to 4 days a week. I also eat lean pork again because it is cheaper than beef. My salads used to be romaine, shredded carrots, and cherry tomatoes. Good but very boring to eat. Now they have broccoli, cauliflower, cucumber, red bell pepper, onion, and the romaine lettuce and shredded carrots. By changing it up the flavors are different and I am getting more fiber and vitamins than I was getting before.

 Lastly get out and move! I have started a new job in the last month in retail so I am now on my feet 6 to 8 hours a day 4 days a week. All I am doing is standing and walking around the store, but it has upped my weight loss. I have lost an average of 2 lbs a week since I started. Now I am not saying walk for 6 to 8 hours, that is crazy but do something a few times a week. Even just dancing around the house is moving and will help boost your metabolism and help tone you up. Do something you like to do and can be consistent at. It will be hard at first and maybe you can't do more than 5 minutes. That is OK! Don't beat yourself up or feel like a failure. It is more than you were doing and you will build up. Again....baby steps.

 Ok, that is it for today. Your mission is to set small goals, log your food, get up and move a little, take baby steps in everything and LOVE YOU FOR YOU! Btw as of today I am down 39.7 lbs. I am at 235.7 and my next goal is 230! May treat myself to some smaller pants at that point. I will let you know! xoxoxoxoxox to you all. 

Time for an update on my progress

It has been about 2 months since I posted. I am sure most of you have forgotten me or figured I gave up. NOPE I just haven't had much to report. I went to the doctor in July as I think I already blogged and I was at 251lbs. In the last 2 months I managed to lose another 10 pounds and get to 241. Actually, I did that in the first 6 weeks but was really struggling the last two weeks to get below 240 which was another small goal of mine.

Remember, I try and set a yearly goal of 50lbs and then break it down into two 6 month goals of 25lbs each. Then I break those 25lb goals into smaller goals of 5lbs at a time. 5 lbs is totally doable in my mind and it feels good to celebrate each small goal I meet. I really try not to focus on the big picture because then it sometimes feels discouraging. But anyway, I was struggling to get to the 240 mark and was really getting pissed off because I would almost hit it, then go up a pound or 8 oz then back down. I felt like my body was teasing me. I tried cutting back on my food, and that didn't work plus I was feeling deprived when I did that. It was just a very frustrating 2 weeks.

So, out of the blue I got a phone call about a job that I had applied for two months before. I hadn't heard back so I figured that I was too old and they didn't want me. It was a part time cashier job at our local CVS Pharmacy at minimum wage pay. I have been out of work for 2 years and have been relentless in my pursuit of employment. So, they called me in for an interview and I got the job! Last week I had my new colleague orientation, and I had my first 4 hour shift on Wednesday. It is a very busy job and I am entirely on my feet for 4 to 6 hours depending on my shift. So I jumped on the scale today after a week of work. Lo and behold, it FINALLY DROPPED! I hit the 238.6 mark this morning! Not only did I hit the 240 mark but I went below it. I lost 3 pounds in a week!

So yeah I am pretty stoked this morning. My new small goal now is 235lbs and I am getting closer to my second 25lb goal for the year. I have 14lbs to go to hit my 50lbs by my birthday in January and 3.5 months to do it. I am certain I am going to hit it and might even hit it earlier than that. Maybe my Christmas present to me will be new smaller clothes. We will have to see what happens but it feels like good things are happening to me on many different fronts. New job and a new me for the foreseeable future.

The moral of the story my friends is do not give up your fight. If something isn't working and you are stuck then try something new. Change up your exercise routine, go for a hike, drink more water, dance in the rain or whatever else you can try. If you are watching your food intake, drinking water and exercising you are taking care of you. The rest will follow, but sometimes things just slow down. Eventually it will catch up with you and start moving again.

Rottie

Trying to give up refined carbs on my journey

This post includes a review of oatmeal that I received for free in exchange for an honest review. All opinions of this oatmeal are my own. 

I have been reading a great book on how my metabolism works and how to get it to optimal performance. It has lots of information about food intolerances and how the thyroid works. Some of the information I have read before, and other bits were brand new. One of the chapters I have read was about cutting out refined carbohydrates. I have heard this before and in fact while on the South Beach Diet, I did in fact cut down not just on refined carbs but ALL carbs. It is a difficult thing to do as I am a bonafide carboholic. I love my breads, pastas, rice, potatoes, corn, and most other things loaded in carbs.

I have decided now to try and I do stress TRY to cut out the unnecessary carbs from my diet. I am going to continue to eat fruit, which we all know contains natural sugars and carbohydrates, because it contains needed fiber and nutrients. I am going to cut the starchy stuff down so less potatoes, more brown rice and bye bye corn on the cob. I am also going to try and have more whole grains in my diet by eating whole grain breads and cereals. I have found a wonderful whole grain hot oatmeal called Umpqua Kick Start and it is really delicious. The first ingredient is whole rolled groats and yes that it GROATS, not oats misspelled. I looked up groats on Wikipedia because I had never heard of it. The definition is as follows, "Groats are whole grains that include the cereal germ and fiber-rich bran portion of the grain as well as the endosperm (which is the usual product of milling)." So those little rolled groats are incredibly good for your body.

I had my first bowl today and I can not stop talking about it. It was so tasty and full of cranberries, blueberries, almonds and sunflower seeds. The different textures combined with the groats really worked in my mouth. It also has a nice cinnamon flavor to it that is not too sweet. This is a non GMO product so I know that it is one of the good ones. I have a video review that I did on YouTube which you will see in a few minutes. Look at  how good it looks even before I add the water. It is really easy to fix too which is nice for those on the go. You can use the microwave but the preferred way and the way I prepared it is just as easy. Just add hot water into the cup just covering the oats, cover and let it steep for 3 minutes. Then just open the cover and enjoy. You will really like the way they taste. You can find them on their website at www.umpquaoats.com  or on Amazon at http://umpqua-oats.myshopify.com/products/kick-start  you will not regret trying this oatmeal. It is that good.

Leg 2 of my journey begins today

So, I went to the doctor today as planned. This was the 6th month of my losing weight journey and I was both excited and nervous. I wanted to show her that I am taking this very seriously, but I was nervous because I wasn't sure if my home scale was in synch with the doctor's scale. When I walked into that office on January 27th 2015 I tipped the scale at 274.5 lbs. That was my wake up call and as you recall the beginning of this trek to become fitter.

Today I walked in and when I got on the scale it read 251.5 lbs. Not the total 25lbs I had hoped for, but a solid  23 lbs down which was great. I have been bouncing between 248 and 253 the last 3 weeks and I am fully confidant that I will hit the 25lb mark or more by my birthday next January. I feel good that I am losing it even if it is in small steps. I am healthier in the way I eat, the way I have tried to exercise, and the way I have upped my water intake. There are some things that I have back slid on since the operation in May and I need to get back on track.

I have to cut the ice cream down again. I have gotten into a habit of eating a bowl of low fat sugar free ice cream every night. I have allowed myself this because I have fooled myself into thinking that it isn't that bad. No, it isn't "that bad" it is 100 calories for a half cup of ice cream and I eat a cup so its 200 calories. But it is 200 calories of something I don't really need. I can have a cup of sugar free jello and that is only 10 calories. Better yet, I can eat a tangerine (35 calories) full of fiber or a cup of non fat yogurt, or not eat anything at all. It isn't that I am hungry, it is that everyone else in the house is indulging and I want to also. So I know I need to get that in check so I can continue to lose.

The other thing is I need to get more active. Getting off the computer and sitting on the deck with my music is not being active. I have been using the excuse that it is too hot to exercise but that has to change. I just need to work out early in the morning or later in the evening when it is cooler and stop being lazy. Those two things are my new goals to accomplish. Stop with the ice cream and up the exercise and change up the time I work out. Once I get those two things under control, I think I will start losing weight again.

Just a little catch up post

Yeah right lol knowing how I love to ramble, this little post will most likely be a page or more by the time I am done. So....... On May 18th I went into the hospital ER. I had had stomach pains since the previous Friday and decided that they were not gas or food related and I needed to see a doctor. They weren't screaming in distress pains but they were enough to wake me up out of a sound sleep. They started in the center of my stomach near my naval and gradually moved over to the right side of my tummy. My roommate thought perhaps appendicitis as her son had had it, but no one was sure. By Sunday evening, I was starting to run a low grade temperature and was really feeling ill. So off to the emergency room we went
              .                                                                                                                                                 So after a CT scan and blood work and a pee test, they determined that yes, my appendix was not in good shape. It had not ruptured yet but it definitely needed to come out. They admitted me into the hospital at 11pm on Sunday evening with the surgery scheduled at 7am the following Monday morning. Needless to say, I did not get much sleep during the in between hours. Surgery is scary. You are literally putting your life into the hands of strangers and hoping everything turns out alright. The fact that both the surgeon and the anesthesiologist have to go over every possible bad scenario doesn't help your nerves either. By the time they were both done telling me what could go wrong even though the odds were minimal, I was convinced I was a goner on the table. I am not a super religious person, but as I laid in the recovery room waiting to go into the OR I looked up at the ceiling and I whispered " Ok God, I am in Your hands now, please take care of me."
      

                                                                                                                                                                                                                         I got wheeled in and the room is so bright. I took a peek around and I see all these people in gowns and caps like on tv. Everyone is busy getting stuff ready and I see tall shelves encased in glass almost like refrigerator shelves full of god knows what and machines beeping and whirring. Someone came up behind me and I heard a voice telling me that they were going to put something in my IV to relax me. After that, I am told to transfer from the hospital bed to the operating table by rolling and scooting over. I remember the something to relax me kicking my ass at that point and yelling "Whoooooooooooo omg I can feel that now" and everyone in the room cracking up. Then lying on the table and a green rubber mask thing covering my nose and mouth. I remember the dark green color and I remember the smell of rubber. That is the last thing I remember.
                                                                                                                                                                   I heard my name being called and I remember really struggling to get my eyes open. I was back in the recovery room and Ralph was sitting next to me reading a book. It was hard to stay awake and I know nurses were checking my blood pressure and my temp and I had my IV checked several times but mostly I was in a fog and sleeping. They finally put me in a wheel chair and took me back to my hospital bed. I don't remember much of that except that when I got up to get into the bed I started retching. I didn't throw up because there was nothing in my system to throw up, but I couldn't stop the dry heaves for about 10 or 15 minutes. They gave me a nausea pill and it stopped.   
                                                                                                                                                                The rest of that day ( it was 10 am when I was back in my room) I pretty much slept, and watched tv when I was awake. Lunch came and even though I hadn't eaten in almost 24 hours, I didn't touch it. Dinner came and I think I took 4 sips of some awful cream of broccoli soup, and drank a 7 up that Ralph brought me and that was it. Next day breakfast I received a piece and a half of french toast and I couldn't eat more than one half. So, you get the picture, I wasn't eating anything really the first 2 days. They came in on the 2nd day and told me my white blood count went up instead of down and I had to stay in the hospital another day. I was not a happy camper but I really had no choice in the matter. Finally Wednesday I was released and got to come home.
                                                                                                                                                                To say I was happy is an understatement. I had never missed my home so much as I did those three days in the hospital. I was given a bottle of vicodin, and two strong antibiotics which kicked my butt for the week I had to take them, but I was in my own house! Nothing made me happier than being in my own home.
                                                                                                                                                                  Thursday I stepped on the scale thinking that because I hadn't eaten for those 3 days I would have dropped more weight. NOPE! Actually I had gained 8 lbs which really upset me. I mean I didn't eat hardly a bite and I gain weight? How was that possible? Then I stopped to think about it. I had surgery so the muscles were cut, and swollen which meant I had fluid in me and fluid means weight. After another 3 days I got up on the scale again, and this time not only was the 8 that I had gained gone, another 2 were also missing! So, I was up to almost a 28lb loss since the start in January so I was feeling a little proud of myself for that but it was short lived. Because I hadn't eaten in the beginning, I let myself indulge a bit more than I should have. I wasn't measuring my servings, and I was eating more junk than I should. Two weeks after being home, I got on the scale again and saw I had gained back the extra 2 that I lost after surgery, so I was back to square one so to speak.
                                                                                                                                                                    I am now back on track, and being more cautious as to what I am eating and what portion size. I got on the scale today and I have now lost back one of the pounds with one more to go. I have a wedding coming up this weekend which means eating out, and having a few drinks at the reception. It also means I can go swimming in the lake and do more walking around so I'm hoping to keep things in check. I have to decide whether to give my self permission to just eat and drink what I want all weekend, or try and keep things in proportion and stick to the plan. Knowing me, Im probably going to do a little of both. I will let you know. Rottie